From: Margaret McClintock Snyder <esnyder@leland.Stanford.EDU>

GUIDING LIGHT TOO BAD IT'S MONDAY
 (OR TUESDAY) UPDATE FOR 07/15/96
              0R
  HIJINKS AT THE ANIMAL FAIR AT
  CAROUSEL FARM IN S'FIELD DAY

TBIMOT HIGH (OR LOW) LIGHTS:
MANDY and MISTY meet with some
   of the IRS' finest
DAHLIA squelches MARCUS again but
   finds fun with JNODOT and Jason
ROG looses it big time at the ANIMAL
   FAIR thanks to HINAH's hijinks
PHIL interrupts at 2 on 1 at the Manse
   among the 3 As and is lectured on 
   SPAULDING family values
  
Let the Show Begin

SPAULDING MANSION:
Mandy is trying to convince the two dudes from the IRS that 
Misty McCloud has an ax to grind and the records she is bearing 
are bogus. IRS guy #1 thinks Misty has a healthy respect for 
his employer. Alex is egging Misty on, while Alan observes the 
scene. Misty declares it is time she came clean, but Mandy thinks
it would take a lot more than soap. Mandy wonders if they are going
to believe Misty's paperwork over hers. IRS guy #2 observes that her
records are quite extensive. She has brought a shopping bag full.

CAROUSEL:
[The carousel which I thought was being decorated to use as a 
centerpiece of the fair actually is only being used for private
convos, so I will distinguish between this location and the outdoor
fair area]
J pursues Dahlia after her singing fiasco. She's upset and thinks
she's made a fool of herself in front of hundreds of people [Didn't
quite look like the crowd was that large to me]. J gives her a hug.
Marcus runs in and tries to convince her that he didn't mean for
this to happen. Dahlia wants him to leave her alone again [How many
times has she said this in the last few weeks?]

5TH STREET FAIR:
Roger is dancing with Whinah, who looks quite unappealing in an
overly revealing sundress. Hart approaches and attempts to cut in.
Roger asks Di if it is really Ross. Hart wonders if he's trying
to pretend he doesn't have a son. He pretends that he only wants
to shake Rog's hand and put their difficulties behind them. Rog
is totally perplexed. Hart continues trying to get him to shake.
Rog reaches out and touches him, then springs back.

TWIRL LIGHTHOUSE

YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE SEEN A GHOST:
Rog is very shaken. Hart claims he told Rog he was going out of
town. Bridget approaches with Petey. Roger tells Di to keep Hart
away. Hart tells Rog it isn't the reception he was expecting.
Van and Matt, Ross and Blake, Frank and Nell and Buzz and Rev
are looking on. Rog relives the death scene [we see it in b&w].
Rog asks Di if she sees him, but she ignores the question and
tries to divert Rog by asking to dance. Rog asks Matessa who
they see. Van says, "That's your son." [How did they know that
was the correct answer?] Rog then asks Buzz who wonders if this
is a trick question. Rog yells and runs to Chrissie. Ross warns
him that he has to stop. Chrissie affirms that it's Hart. Rog
asks the crowd, "Anybody not see that man standing over there in
a blue t-shirt?"

MARCUS STRIKES OUT AGAIN:
Marcus says he had Dahl's best interests at heart. Dahlia notes
that everytime Marcus helps, she just ends up feeling worse. Nodot
interjects himself in their argument. Marcus tries to get him to
leave, but Dahl says it is the end of their convo. Marcus gets the
picture and exits. J wonders if she has a rule she lives by that
makes her down on herself. Dahlia declares it is time she starts
having fun. Nodot has a plan.

GONNA SNATCH YOU BALD:
At Chez Spaulding, Alan tells the IRS guys to leave or he'll charge
them with harassment. They leave with Ms. McCloud. They tell 
Mandy if they find evidence of tampering she'll be prosecuted.
Mandy declares to Alex, "I hope you have some good wigs honey,
'cause I am gonna snatch you bald-headed." [LOL. Definite Line of
the Day]

commercial break

BACK TO THE MANSE:
Alan holds Amanda back as she complains about Alex's lack of family
loyalty. Alex says she doesn't control the IRS audit schedule but
Mandy notes that she provided the mystery guest. Alan doesn't think
it's Alex's fault since the story has been all over the media. 
He declares, "Everyone knows how you made ends meet in Malibu."
Alex thinks that the IRS isn't going to be fooled by "colored
pins and green tea drippings... If you cheat them, they get you."
Mandy gets upset and says if they believe Misty she is in big
trouble. She tells Alan she needs to cash out of Advantage Systems,
but he tells her that her funds aren't liquid. Mandy is upset and
tells Alan he can't leave her high and dry because she might go
to jail. Phil arrives at the end of this exchange. Mandy tells
Alan she can understand Alex acting this way, but not her Father.
Phil notes they are having a little 2 on 1 Spaulding style--the
time honored tradition of ganging up on each other.

5TH STREET FAIR : 

POD CHELLE EXPLAINS NODOT:
Chelle and Bill are lurking near the outside of the carousel.
Bill wonders what the deal is with Roger. The Pod didn't hear
a word, and Bill apologizes for waking her up. Chelle claims
she is worried about Dahlia, and Bill wonders since when. Pod
claims it is because she has realized that "J Nodot Chamberlain
is not the be all and end all of cool." Bill notes the guy is
a paradox though; he did help out with the fight on the beach.
Chelle declares that Nodot likes whatever chickie is in front
of him. He makes you feel like you are the only girl in the world,
and she hopes Dahlia isn't falling for it like she did.

NODOT IN ACTION:
Nodot is explaining his philosophy of life to Dahlia. Whenever
he is blue he does something he's never done or goes somewhere
he's never been. Dahlia wonders why he's being so nice. Nodot
queries "Truth or lies?" [I thought it was truth or dare] J
wonders if Dahlia has looked in a mirror lately. She is extremely
beautiful. Dahlia acts like he's the first guy who ever told her
this. She rebuffs J when he wants to know about her relationship
with Marcus. J tells her he knows what it's like to have everyone
down on you. They bond over their troubles with their parents.
J suggests they go to the old Gardner theater where there is
a Friday the 13th festival going on: # 1 to gazillion. Dahlia
has never seen even one. J tells her that Jason will make us
forget. [I thought you did something you'd never done before,
nodot]

I SHOT YOU:
Rog is totally losing it. Ross wonders why. Buzz gets off the
bandstand and tries to get Rog to go up to the house. So do
Dumb and Dumber and Chrissie. D/D wonder where Hart has been
all this time. Hart says he told Rog he was leaving town but
he must have forgot. Roger refuses to leave. Di asks Buzz to
start the music again. Annie opines that Rog could be in serious
trouble [Thanks for that diagnosis nursie Dutton]. She takes 
the kids up to the house, and Bridge follows with Petey. Rog
can't figure out how Hart can be there because he's dead. "I
shot you," he cries.

HALFTIME

WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT:
Leo tells Rog to shut up. Rog relates the entire saga of the
shooting. Hart thinks it's "a dream you had, Dads" [Oh no,
Dads is back!] He tells Rog he must have missed. Rog claims
he buried him at Laurel Falls. Then he bought a coffin. He
reminds D/D of the coffin in the truck and the body in the
cave with the flesh rotting off the bones. Hart says he has
a grisly imagination. Rog appeals to Dinah for support.
"You saw it. Why are you looking at me like that? You saw
the blood, you heard the shot, you helped me carry the
body, dig the hole. You tell them." Smirking falsely concerned
Dinah declares she hasn't a clue.

GARDNER THEATER:
We see rows of screaming patrons. J and Dahl enter with popcorn
and coke. Dahl tells J she's not too fond of horror flicks.
Everyone is yelling at Jason on the screen. J tells her to give
it a chance. He gives her handfuls of popcorn, and instructs her
to throw it when everyone else does. The whole crowd rises and
hails Jason. [Is this some sort of Rocky Picture Show type ritual?
I remember when my daughter was in high school she used to do this
at midnight with her other black-clad friends]

ALAN HAS HAD IT WITH PHILLIP'S TUDE:
Alan tells Phil he is fed up with the "accusations and acrimony."
Phil thinks nobody knows more about acrimony than him: he lets
his daughter be dragged through the mud to chase a woman he's
already lost. Alan says he won't tolerate that tone of voice. 
Phil thinks he's pretty touchy tonight, but thinks he knows the
reason why. Maybe Alan is the person who set him up. Mandy
thinks he so-called proof is laughable. Mandy tells Alan and
Alex about the letter signed A. Spaulding and AM's suspicions
about whether it's legit. Alex assures Phil she would never do
such a thing. Mandy wonders why Phillip has told the entire
family about his suspicions. Phil says he naively hoped the
guilty party would fess up. Mandy says they are incapable of
doing such a thing to another family member. Phil begs to differ. 
Alexdenies her involvement again and Alan orders her to stop 
"nattering." He tells Phil to forget it; it was a long time ago. 
[This from Mr. Revenge himself. Why doesn't he forget Reva and 
Buzz?] "I won't allow you to come into this house and stalk us 
like some investigative reporter [Wasn't that Nick?] Stop this 
witch hunt [Does that mean Al thinks it's Mandy?] or move out.

ROG LOOSES HIS MARBLES BUT THE LIGHT IS DAWNING:
D/D, Mattessa, Bridget are all looking at Roger. Rog is
incredulous that Di says it never happened. Di helped him
bury the body, she was covered in dirt and blood like him.
When she denies it a second time, Rog asks why she is lying.
He backs away from her. Di goes over the D/D and asks them
to be gentle with her poor nutty hubby. Rog wants to know
what she is doing to him. Di blames his condition on Lonatrat.
Rog wonders why Di is claiming he hallucinated days of his life.
Di acts confused and tells him that is what's making him angry.
Rog says he is being as calm as possible. Di admits that the
gun was at Laurel Falls, but says when she got there Rog was
talking to himself, barking like a dog, and screaming. Rog
interjects that she made him bark, then Hart lunged at him and
the gun went off. Di tells Rog he fantasized shooting his own son.
       
    This is the setup of the players:
   Bloss   Lillian   Mattessa/Bridget  Leo    D/D
     Hart          Roger               Dinah      Bandstand

Rog is pointing his finger first at Dinah and then at Hart.
He sees that they have been working as a team. Hart tells Di
to get her hubby out of his face before he hurts him. Di says
it is all Hart's fault because of the letter he wrote. Roger
launches himself at Hart and begins throttling him. D/D appoach.
Frank pulls Rog off. Di begs him not to hurt Rog. D/D are in
civvies, and two uniforms come to assist. Hart says he isn't
pressing charges. Leo pipes up that no crime has been committed.
Rog needs to go to a hospital. Blake and Di tell Frank Rog is 
a sick man. Frank instructs the cops to take Rog to Cedars.
Rog is dragged off, and we see a popcorn wagon [doing double
duty, since popcorn is also being thrown at Jason. Hope the 
cast got some of it]. Di, Ross and Mattessa go with Roger. Blake
stays with Hart. Frank declares the show over. D/D want
an explanation from Hart about the little misunderstanding with
his father. Something doesn't add up.

SPAULDING FAMILY VALUES:
Alex runs to Phillip as he complains about his banishment. Alex
tries to tell him that isn't what Alan means but Al tells her
to speak for herself. If Phil continues stalking... Phil, Alan
and Alex are all talking at the same time. Phil wonders how
Mandy can continue to live here. Mandy says she wasn't born to
it. "We may not be the Brady Bunch, we live differently, show
love differently, we are different. People all over the world
recognize our name. It is a blessing and a curse. We have to 
stick together. We're the only people who know what it's like
to bear the name Spaulding. It's our family whether we like
it or not. It's the home we've made for ourselves. I say that
we make it wonderful." Alex is touched by this sentiment. Phil
is amazed she can get those words out of her mouth after what
Al and Al have done to her. She must be as twisted as the rest
of them. It's the only reason she'd want to live in their 
snakepit. Mandy declares they are all in it together. Phil
says, "I don't think so. I'll pass." He exits. The three As
exchange glances.

CEDARS:
We hear an ambulance approach. Roger is yelling as the uniforms
escort him in, his hands cuffed behind his back. He doesn't
want a doctor, he needs his lawyer. Ross and Di enter and
Ross goes to meet with the hospital staff and police to 
arrange a psych evaluation. Di wonders how long Rog will be
observed. Ross thinks 60-90 days. After Ross leaves, Van tells
Dinah this has to stop.

INTERROGATION BY CAROUSEL:
D/D want a few answers from Hart. He claims he knows nothing
about the corpse at L.F. He claims he was in Canada visiting
a buddy, Bing McIver, in Scottstown. He shows them his airline 
ticket. They could ask him but he only gets into town a few times
a summer. Frank notes it doesn't get more inconvenient than that.
Cleary asks about the letter. And Frank wonders why if he was
scared of Rog he antagonized him by cutting in on his wife as
soon as he was back to town. Hart claims not to be the type of
guy who runs from his fears very long. Frank wonders what he
makes of Rog saying he shot him. Hart thinks it's freudian and
they should consult his shrink. Blake breaks in to appeal to 
Frank. This is hard on them since Rog is their father. Frank
has known her a long time and knows she is sincere but he isn't
so sure about her brother. Blake says their father is a master
manipulator and his mind games have finally caught up with him.
Frank warns Hart not to take any more trips. As they leave,
Blake exchanges worried glances with Hart.

DI EXPLAINS IT ALL:
Di tells Van that Rog did this all to himself. He said he loved
her and then married her just to get back at people he hated.
Di claims Rog cost Van her first marriage and almost cost Grandpere
his life. Van can't argue with that [but I sure could]. Di claims
this isn't all about money. GF trusted her to do something good
with the money and she had to do anything possible to get it back.
Van wonders what's next. Di needs her help to get Rog committed.
Then she can finish what she set out to do: get Rog's power of
attorney and go to the Caymans to recover her money. Matt wonders
what will happen to Roger. Di doesn't care. She declares the
world is a safer place with Rogerthorpe put away. Don't they
think Henry would agree? [I think Henry is spinning in his grave].
Van gives Di a hug.

ANIMAL FAIR WINDS DOWN:
The volunteers are dismantling things. Frank tells Cleary he's
going to check out Hart's story if it takes him til Labor Day.
Frank compliments AM on being a hero of the fair. Buzz and 
Reva comment on the exciting "closing ceremonies." D/D tell
them Rog has gone to Cedars and that's all they know. Marcus
is rolling the fish barrel across the lawn when he goes into
a LONG reverie about his swimming interlude with Dahlia in
Orlando at the QuackQuack Hotel. [MCT this was BORING the FIRST
time]. Frank asks Marcus about Dahlia's upset. Marcus tells him
Dahlia blew him off. Frank wonders if it will stick this time.
Marcus says he doesn't have a choice, but it doesn't change how
he feels.

JASON SHOW:
Dahlia is into the spirit of things hurling popcorn. J wants to
see Part 2. Dahlia is unsure, but goes into a reverie of her time
with Marcus at Universal Studios [MCT see note above]. She tells
J that she'll stay. She has nowhere else to be. J goes for new
ammo.

BUZZ AND REV COUNT THE GATE:
Beva are spooning on the bandstand. Buzz notes that "most people
had a good time" [LOL]. Rev wonders what the gate was, but then
has to tell Buzz to keep his shell game in his pocket. "Prof,
your hands are too quick for me." He tickles her, and Rev thinks
he's wanted to do that all day. Buzz doesn't think they took in
enuf [what about the check from AM, cheeze!]. Spaulding is going
to demolish buildings in the am. [Gee Buzz, why didn't you tell
your lawyer Ross about it? Maybe he could have petitioned the
court or something] Beva dances to music only they hear. Cut
to Alanspaulding: "There's more. There's much more." [What the
hell is that supposed to mean?].

CAROUSEL:
Hart thanks Blake. [At this point, my cable goes out for a few
minutes, so fill in the blanks].

DADDY FIXES IT ALL:
Ross has set up a competency hearing for the morning. He wonders
if Di has any questions. She wants to know how she will get her
money back.
Cut to Roger:
He is resting in his hospital bed, encased in a blue straight jacket.
Outside his door, we see one cop bring coffee to another. 
Cop 1: "So he thought he killed his own son, huh?"
Cop 2: "He thought he saw his decomposing body."
Cop 1: "All the time it was a fancy latex dummy."
Rog's eyes pop open. We hear the cops chuckling outside the door.
"Unbelievable," they declare. Freeze-frame on Roger's spooky stare.

THE END

Once again my cable goes out and doesn't come back on until
the credits have gotten to Marcus Williams=Kevin Mambo.
However, thanks to Marni I have found out that the writer
was Jeanne Glynn, but the director remains a mystery. 
     *
    /|\
   /-O-\           Margaret Snyder
  /\ | /\          Hoover Institution
 o=======o         Stanford University
  | G L |          Palo Alto, CA
  | u i |          (Hometown of Charles Jay Hammer,
  | i g |           a.k.a Fletcher Reade)
  | d h |
  | i t |          email:msnyder@leland.stanford.edu
  | n   |
  | g   |



