Lines of the Day - 1996 Last Modified April 20, 1999
	The lines below are actual lines spoken by Guiding Light characters on episodes that aired. They have been submitted by viewers who thought they deserved the title GL Line of the Day. This page is no longer being updated with new lines.

Lines of the Day for: 1999 | 1998 | 1997 | 1996

12/31/96
Michelle to Zachary, regarding his leaving:
"What if you let the bird out and it refuses to leave?"
And then he kisses her.
(Submitted by Erinn)

12/30/96
Buzz has fallen down the stairs after tripping on a toy and
keeps falling on various toys scattered around the room. He makes it to
the couch and looks to one side and sees a doll and to the
fireplace where Mr. Potato Head sits and says:

"All right, okay, I saw the movie twice. I'll be nice just don't
hurt me."

(The expression on his face before and after he said it was just
hillarious)
(Submitted by Christine)

12/26/96
Roger to Alan:
"Even I wouldn't have my daughter arrested on Christmas Eve!"
(Submitted by Erinn)

12/25/96
Zachary (to J): Do you know how many muscles there are in the human body?
J: 200
Zachary: 650. For examply, it takes 14 muscles for Michelle to make this small arch in her hand.
(Zach and Michelle are made for each other and you can tell for sure in this passage!)
(Submitted by Erinn)

12/13/96
Annie: This car is gonna drive us crazy!

Buzz: A little too late for you don't you think...
(Submitted by Christine Svevar)

12/11/96
Buzz to Annie when she tells him she knows Reva and Josh are
together at Cross Creek.

Buzz: "So you gave up nursing to become a Psychic?"
(Submitted by Christine )

12/11/96
Amanda, scolding Roger for sneaking around the mansion:
Stop that, you're going to scare Netty into a nervous breakdown.
Roger:
In that case, I recommend Midland Hills. They did wonders for me!

(Submitted by Clarence )

12/10/96
Josh to Annie (after finding the diaphragm with the hole in it):

Let's hope the rabbit lives. (Second that!)
(Submitted by Stacey)

12/06/96
Phillip (about Lizzie): Already delegating authority. That's my little girl.
(Submitted by Brad Beam)

12/04/96
Ross discussing where the twins got their looks:
"As long as they don't look like Roger, we're one step
ahead of the game!"
(Submitted by Stacey Vinson)

12/04/96
Ross discussing where the twins got their looks:
(Submitted by Stacey Vinson)

11/23/96
Nurse to Annie: "You just can't come in here and get sperm!"

(Thats something you don't hear every day ;-) )
(Submitted by Chris)

11/20/96
Bridget is contemplating plastic surgery. Roger doesn't she should.

Roger (to Bridget): "My son and I have the same taste in women!"
Bridget: "Which explains why he's about to marry your wife!"

Or something like that! What a hoot!!!
(Submitted by Brenda)

11/15/96
Roger: it's the least I could do after all the things you've done to me!

(upon delivery of the piano at Hart's farm. Is there a bomb in that piano?)
(Submitted by SKN)

11/14/96
Josh to Annie: You don't have a baby to fix things. You fix things and then you have a baby.
(Finally someone on GL using some common sense!)
(Submitted by Stacey Vinson)

11/12/96
Roger to Ross: Thank you Ross from the bottom of my heart.
Ross: (muttering) I wish he had one!
(Submitted by Helen A Butalla)

11/12/96
Blake (praying): "God, are you listening? Don't hang up or send locusts."
(Submitted by Brad Beam)

11/11/96
Hawk to Josh: "Lord love a duck, boy!!"
(Submitted by Brenda)

11/06/96
They look just like you, Blake.
(Submitted by Erinn)

11/06/96
Philip to Alan-Michael, Alex and Amanda: I came back to find out who in this family hated me...to think I just thought it was one of you!
(Submitted by Stacey Vinson)

11/06/96
Roger, on his cell-phone to Leo: Dinah thinks I'm the best thing since lipstick
(Submitted by Marcy)

11/05/96
Blake: I don't want to deliver my babies in the shower!!!
(Submitted by Michelle)

11/04/96
Blake to her unborn sons: 'don't worry, Mommy has everything under control'
(Submitted by David Brinkley)

10/25/96
Ross (to Meg and Holly): Can you come out and play?

Holly: Play?? How about a game of marbles? I seem to have
lost a few...
(Submitted by SKN)

10/23/96
Annie (to atleast everyone on the show atleast once throughout her intervention saga)...
"To Hell with you! To Hell with you (insert character name here)!!!
(Submitted by Becky Poland)

10/21/96
Annie(to Rick) only one of your slow-poke Bauer of a sperm got to where it was supposed to be
(Submitted by lynn)

10/21/96
Annie(to Rick):Only one of your slow-poke Bauer of a sperm got to where it was supposed to be

(Submitted by lynn)

10/18/96
Hart: I'm just happy that you love me so much. Dinah: You should be happy I don't have a power saw.
(Submitted by Kelly)

10/17/96
Roger (to Amanda): I see you eying my hot dog.
(Submitted by Ray Castro)

10/17/96
ALAN TO AMANDA-
YOU'RE A BIGGER PAIN THAN MY BACK EVER HAS BEEN, BUUT ATLEAST MY BACK PAIN WILL GO AWAY!
(Submitted by BECKY POLAND)

10/16/96
"I can't go out with her, can I?" Zachary asks himself as he tells Michelle he'll go to the Harvest Dance with her.
(Submitted by Jane)

10/09/96
Amanda: ...to get a leg up on us...
Alex: ...be careful what you say, I have a vivid imagination...
(Submitted by SpaceKat)

10/09/96
Amanda: _I_ am a Spaulding!
Alex: So are our dogs.
(Submitted by Brad Beam)

09/30/96
Holly to Roger "Talking is fine, DON'T TOUCH"
(Submitted by Stephanie Day)

09/25/96
Alan to Reva: If this is your idea of offering a virgin sacrifice, you're an army of men too late.
(Submitted by Stacey Vinson)

09/19/96
Alan (to Alexandra): "You are starting to sound like a prophet from
the old testament"

Amanda:"The old, old, old testament"
(Submitted by Elsa V.)

09/18/96
Josh & Reva After He carried Her out of Alan's
Josh: What would you have done if he had taken you up on your offer.

Reva: I would be calling Lorrena Bobbitt for a good Lawyer.
(Submitted by Nicole Jensen)

09/17/96
Annie:"YOU are NOT his(Rick)x-wife"
Phillip:"one of the many things in life for which I'm grateful"
(Submitted by katie)

09/16/96
When Ross told Roger he would be kept away from the twins:

Roger: "Well, will you at least send me pictures occasionally so I can chart their growth?"
(Submitted by Jackie Adams)

09/16/96
Ross to Roger in the institution:
I wouldn't believe you even if you sprouted a halo.
(Submitted by maryann)

09/16/96
When Ross visits Roger at the institution and tells him
that he's faking the memory loss, he says to Roger,

"You can pretend to be Forest Gump until your chocolates
melt!"
(Submitted by Sherri)

09/16/96
As Roger hugs Ross, Ross pushes him away and says, "Stop!
It's like being hugged by a reptile."

ROTFLOL


(Submitted by Lynda)

09/16/96
(Ross to Roger regarding his "transformation") "You can play Forrest Gump until your chocolates melt, but I'm not going to let you get away with it"
(Submitted by margie)

09/13/96
Roger struggling to find the word he was looking, suddenly blurts out,
"HORTICULTURE!"
...and scares the crap out of Hart.
(Submitted by Perry)

09/13/96
Dinah to Roger at mental hospital:
Dinah: so, how much of the last four months *do* you remember?
Roger: what month are we in, October? <eg, by Zas>

(you wish Zas, hang in there!!!)
(Submitted by SKN)

09/13/96
Leo (to Dr. Dobson):
You've turned Roger into Liberace!

[and later...]
Look, he's worse than Liberace. You've turned him into a whacked-out hippie Gandhi.
(Submitted by Brad Beam)

08/22/96
Blake to Rick (who's desperate to track down Abby): "No
wonder you're reduced to sleeping with the drunken wives of
other men!"

Rick: "I have my standards..."
(Submitted by SKN)

08/08/96
Rick to Annie: "I'll have you in front of the medical board so fast your head will spin!"
(Submitted by cmcodere@mtu.edu)

08/05/96
Frank, playing Supercop, is patting down suspect Zachary after Griffin has been shot:

Frank: Why do you have tools in your pocket?

Zach: It's a free country.

Frank: Don't get smart with me!
(Submitted by staceyv@shawnee.cc.il.us)

06/10/96
Annie is talking to Rick about Phillip:
ANNIE: He's the perfect ying to your yang.
RICK: Hey now, that was just a rumor in summer camp.
(Submitted by GPurdy3507@aol.com)

06/04/96
Buzz (to Reva) I love you for the little things...like...cutting up the celery & pulling out the little strings so they don't get stuck in between your teeth (what could be more romantic,way to go Buzz)
(Submitted by Katie)

05/22/96
Rick: Blake, why didn't you tell me you were having twins?
Blake: Because I was afraid that you would be twice as obsessed!

04/24/96
Rick "I was young and confused; Phillip was young and angry"
Matt" Be happy that my Aunt Nola isn't planning the wedding. You'd have stomach pumps for favors"
(Submitted by Paulette)

04/19/96
"It's a double-your-pleasure deal" -Ross, to Vanessa, about Blake's pregnancy
(Submitted by Hawkins@charity.trinityvt.edu)

04/18/96
Ed (to Michelle)- I want to know who's living in this house pretending to be my daughter.
(Submitted by Brad Beam)

04/17/96
Nola (to Ed)- Don't make me get out the finger puppets.
and later...
Rick (to Ed)- Do you want me to bring out the finger puppets again?
(Submitted by Brad Beam)

04/09/96
Blake to Rick: "Just because you're younger and haven't had it in God knows how long, you think you're just this powerhouse of manhood just waiting to get to my ovaries?!"
(Submitted by Rachel Clark)

03/28/96
Nurse Mutton, on how to handle an old flame (i.e., Rick):
ANNIE: Ed, be honest with me - am I being insensitive having the wedding here at Cedars?
(Submitted by Jeanna Fazzalaro)

02/09/96
Amanda: "Now, show me why they call you Mounties."
(Submitted by Pam)

02/09/96
Blake said to Amanda (with regards to what organization Amanda was supporting): "Animal rights?? No, not with that coat...support group for exhibitionists??"
(Submitted by Carey Leone)

02/07/96
Ross [to Dinah]: "Oh, for crying out loud, if everybody who Roger hurt jumped into bed together, everything would have to stop for the world's biggest orgy!"
(Submitted by Pam)

02/06/96
Hart [coaching Dinah on what to say to Ross]: "'The good news is, I've left Satan.'" Dinah: "And the bad news is, I'm having an affair with his son."
(Submitted by Pam)

01/29/96
Nell [after recapping her foulups]: "I should be cleaning sewers somewhere."
(Submitted by Pam)

01/26/96
Blake [about Amanda]: "Oh, if I could just get rid of that woolly-haired mammoth for good, everything would be just fine!"
(Submitted by Pam)

01/26/96
Blake: "If you see Catwoman in the street, shove her in front of a bus for me."
(Submitted by Pam)

01/26/96
Blake: "Less stress, more nookie."
(Submitted by Pam)

01/24/96
Reva: ""To the man who makes me feel like a queen, whether I act like one or not."
(Submitted by Pam)

01/22/96
Rick: "Boys have got the self-control of rabbits."
(Submitted by Pam)

Lines of the Day for: 1999 | 1998 | 1997 | 1996

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